The Voodoo Doll of Doom!
by chidori-no-kage
Summary: Rivary!OOCness! What happens if Naruto finds a voodoo doll? Chaos and a possible destruction of the whole village, that's what! Ch 10 is up! Rated T for language. Warning:Randomness ahead. Really want to change the title but its permanent. No pairings yet
1. Ramen!

**The Voodoo Doll of Doom!**

This is my first fanfic and no one's gonna stop me from continuing! BWHAHAHAHAHA!

Errr… I mean this is my first fanfic. ENJOY! D

_Italics: thinking_

**Bold: anything that's worth bolding**

Underline: err…any thing that's worth underlining

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Before you start… what's a voodoo doll?

Some random person: Oookaaay, what's a voodoo doll?

A/N: …heh heh

**Some random person:** Well, what is it?

A/N: It's this doll thingy that when you put a person's hair in, you can control them using the doll.

**Some random person:** I... don't get it…

A/N: This is how it works

Step 1: get a person's hair and shove it into the doll

Step 2: whatever you do to the doll, happens to the person with the hair."

**Some random person:** I still don't get it.

A/N: Sigh... Whatever, just read the story

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Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Milo 

**Chapter 1: RAMEN!**

"Arrrgh! Where is it? Don't tell me that was the last one!" yelled Naruto while his stomach gurgled loudly.

The blond shinobi was in his pantry looking for his usual packet of instant ramen, only to have realized that there's no more left in the box.

" Why my ramen? WHY?" Naruto called out into the empty ramen box.

"NOOOOO!" he began to panic, looking away from the box.

"There's gotta be some left" He dug deeper and deeper into his huge stash of unhealthy food. He grabbed the items at the bottom of the now unstable pile and threw them aside.

"GAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

The incredibly large amount of food came avalanching onto the hungry genin, causing him to be buried under bags of marshmallow, popcorn, chocolate, candy and any other foods that goes in the pantry.

Maybe there's still some left under the bed… Naruto was referring to the pile of miso flavoured ramen that he had hidden when he was three years old. 

With that decision made, Naruto swam (not literally though) through the edibles and slid the door open. All the food hurled out into the kitchen. Packets of gummy bears bounced away, bottles of soft drink and milk flavoring rolled across the room.

_Okaaaay, I'll clean that up later…_ He stepped over the mess and headed towards his bed.

"Ramen, Ramen, Ramen…" he sang, reaching under the wooden furniture, lifting it up to reveal a trap door.

"Sweet delicious ramen…" the young ninja continued as he yanked the handle.

"…Wait for me my ramen…" his voice trailed off. Tears of disappointment filled his blue eyes.

"T-there's no more..." Naruto sobbed "W-w-why does the Ichiraku r-ramen have to close today."

"OH WELL, TIME TO SHOP FOR MORE!" he announced with more excitement than ever, jumping up and started to march towards the door

"Nothing gets in the way of the future ho-GYAAAAAK!"

Naruto had stepped on a tin of Milo, fallen face first onto the cold hard floor. His head had managed to crack a few tiles.

"What the…WHO PUT THIS THING HERE!" The blond ninja yelled, having already forgotten that he had caused a massive pile of junk to spill out from the pantry earlier. With and annoyed groan, he picked up the tin and chucked it out the window, being very inconsiderate of that poor person who just so happens to be right underneath.

"Ramen, ramen, ramen, wonderfully, chewy, stretchy, ultra-mega- tasty ramen" Naruto sang while a loud cry of pain and a bunch of swearing was heard in the background. Of course Naruto hadn't heard that unfortunate person since his singing was drowning out all the other noises, plus he has ultra-crappy observation skills.

Naruto was walking down the street with the ramen song stuck in his head. He had this great idea of letting everybody know how great ramen is so he sang his song at an ear-splitting volume.

"Ramen in pork and beef," he chanted while he walked pass a very burnt and disfigured Milo tin, (yep it's the one that Naruto threw out the window).

"Healthy for your teeth-"

"Hey, Naruto!" The blond genin's made-up song was interrupted by a sharp poke in the back. He whirled around to see…

"Konohamaru?"

"Yep, that's me, the one and only Konohamaru-sama!" was the young ninja-to-be's reply

"Yeah, yeah, what do you want?"

"I'm…"

"Yeah?"

"…gonna…"

"Uh huh,"

"TELL YOU THAT I AM THE NEXT HOKAGE!"

**End of Chapter**

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How's that? (Alright! A cliffhanger!) I know that there's nothing in there that has anything to do with voodoo dolls but there will be soon... **Review if you want to find out what's happening**


	2. At last! The Voodoo Appears!

Hi dudes and dudettes! Thanks for the reviews. I was sorta expecting more but…

Anyways, here's chapter 2 with some OOC-ness (out of character)! By the way, I watch the Japanese version of Naruto so some of the words are in Japanese.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, I wish I do… but I don't T.T

I don't own Milo or the Batman tune as well.

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Chapter 2: At last! The Voodoo appears!!

"Konohamaru?"

"Yep, that's me, the one and only Konohamaru-sama!" was the young ninja-to-be's reply.

"Yeah, yeah, what do you want?"

"I'm…"

"Yeah?"

"…gonna…"

"Uh huh…"

"TELL YOU THAT I AM THE NEXT HOKAGE!!"

"YOU WHAAAAAT!!?" Naruto screamed, causing the all the animals in the area to flee. All the bystanders stared at the two.

"Just kidding." Konohamaru laughed at Naruto's gullibility.

THUD!

Naruto falls down anime style and Konohamaru laughed even harder. Suddenly, a large net dropped out of the sky and onto Konohamaru, pinning him to the ground.

"H-hey, what's going on here? LEMMIE GO!" He flailed around, trying to escape, but it only resulted in tangling himself.

"You are under arrest for falsification!" (Naruto knows a hard word? O.o)

Konohamaru looked up at the sky. There on the rooftop, stood four Naruto kage bunshins. They were all striking a triumphant pose.

"Operation shinobi-net is a success!" The kage bunshins declared, high 5-ing each other.

"That's what you get for tricking us!" said a replication. The group jumped down of the three level building and landed with a small thump.

"And for getting in our way" said another while the others nodded in approval.

"See ya, dude." Naruto and his doppelgangers began to continue their journey, leaving the kid stuck inside the net.

"By the way, what was our goal?" asked one of the kage bunshin.

"…" Said the Narutos, thinking hard to remember what their goal was before they were distracted.

"…" They thought even harder, straining their brains.

"…" Their faces screwed up due to the amount of pressure that was placed on their heads.

"I know, we were going to train, right?" suggested a kage bunshin.

"I don't think that's it…" said the original Naruto.

"To visit the Hyuuga's?" a shadow-clone implied.

"Why would I want to do that?" said another replication.

"What if you wanted to see Hinata or something…?"

"Hey…" started the real Naruto but was cut-off by another of his kage bunshins.

"What if you were planning to go and steal all of Sasuke's tomatoes?"

"Err…guys…?" Naruto tries again but was cut-off again.

"Maybe you were going to keep on bugging granny-Tsunade (I don't know how to write granny in Japanese so that would do) until she gives us a mission?"

"Hey, I really think we were…" Naruto was cut-off for the third time.

"Maybe we were going to meet Kakashi sensei" said a kage bunshin.

"No, I'm 100 percent positive that we were going for the tomatoes…" said another.

"Maybe we were…blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah" suggested another.

"SHUT UP!!" the shouted original Naruto. "Hey, I'm the one in charge here so you guys better listen to me!!"

"Why should you be in charge? After all, we're you, baka!" a shadow replication yelled back.

"YEAH!" agreed the other Naruto kage bunshins in unison.

"WHAT!? You're the idiots for making up such lame suggestions. Heck, you're not even helping at all! Some kage bunshins you are." replied Naruto angrily.

"HEY!! Nobody calls us idiots, Naruto-baka" a replication yelled back at the insult.

"BAKA!! QUIT CALLING ME BAKA!!" Naruto shouted, waving his arms about. Clearly, the loud ninja is very pissed off right now.

"TAKE THAT!"

"AND THAT!!"

"CALL ME BAKA HUH!?"

"BWHAHAHAHAHA!!! TAKE THAT!!!"

Kunais and shurikens were thrown as Naruto had declared war against his own kage bunshins. Each of them were punching and kicking at any other Narutos that they could see since all of them looks the same. A huge crowd has gathered to see what the commotion was. Some cheered them on; others were just too lazy to do anything but watch.

"Hmph! Nice teamwork you have there Naruto," said Sasuke sarcastically, appearing from the crowd.

"Huh?" all the doppelgangers have stopped fighting to face their new enemy; Uchiha Sasuke! Knowing that the entire feud between the number one loud ninja and his dysfunctional kage bunshins had ended, the crowd dissipated.

"What kind of ninja is unable to control their own bunshins?" Sasuke continued.

Having had enough of Sasuke's insults, Naruto snapped, ordering all his shadow replications to charge at the Uchiha.

"SASUKE!!! YOU ARE SO DEAD!!"

"Heh! Bring it on, dunce" said Sasuke coolly.

**End of chapter…**

**…**

**…**

**…** **Just kidding! The fight continues!!!**

"KAGE BUNSHIN NO JUTSU!!" shouted the original Naruto while doing the hand seal.

"Uhh, Naruto…? We're already out, anymore of us would be in the way." said a replication.

"Oh, right…" said Naruto, undoing the hand seal and getting ready for the Uzumaki Naruto Renden.

"U-ZU-MA-KI! The Narutos kicked Sasuke up into the sky.

"Katon Goukakyuu no Jutsu!" Not allowing himself to be beaten by Naruto, Sasuke blew a giant fireball at Naruto and his kage bunshins in mid air.

"GYAAAAAH!" all the Narutos shouted in pain.

POOF! x4

Without anymore kage bunshins, Naruto can't complete his attack. He looked around for his opponent but the young Uchiha is no where to be found!

Suddenly, the Uchiha boy poofed in front of Naruto and uses his whole Shishi Renden on him (that's the Lion Combo for those who don't know).

"Feh, that's pay back for what you did to my head" said Sasuke pointing to his forehead.

Sasuke's Flash back… 

Sasuke was walking towards the training grounds when all of a sudden, he heard loud off-key singing.

_Aww man, Naruto's singing his stupid ramen song again… _Sasuke sighed and continued walking.

BONK!

"ARRRRRGH!" A Milo tin has fallen out of Naruto's window and hit Sasuke on his head.

"WHAT THE F-CK! NARUTO!!" Sasuke swore loudly, of course Naruto hadn't heard him. The very pissed genin charged up his Chidori and used it on the poor Milo tin. The furious Sasuke walked off, leaving the horribly burnt and disfigured Milo tin in the middle of the road (The one that Naruto saw on his way to buy ramen).

End of flashback 

"Later, baka." Sasuke walked away from the totally beaten and humiliated Naruto.

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The already recovered Naruto was in his house and was waiting for the ramen to cook.

"Ramen…ramen…" He sang in the Batman tune.

DING!

"Alright!! It's ready!!" Naruto grabbed his ramen and brought it to the table.

"Hey what's this?" He noticed the packet label of his instant cup ramen.

_**Ultra rare item inside **_

**_Caution: DO NOT COOK the VOODOO DOLL_**

He pulled off the label and saw a doll bobbing up and down in the soup.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! I COOKED MY ULTRA RARE FREE RAMEN PRIZE!!" Naruto reached down into the polystyrene foam cup to retrieve the doll, burning his fingers on the way.

"ARRRHH!!! IT BURNS!!!" The blond genin rushed to the taps and turned the cold water on to maximum.

Minutes later, a soaked Naruto returned to the table with a glowing red hand and a very soggy voodoo doll. He picked up his chopstick and shoved a whole bunch of ramen into his mouth. He looked at his cup of ramen weirdly before swallowing it forcefully.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!? IT SUCKS! THIS CRAP IS PLAIN!!" shouted the irritated Naruto. He grabbed the label and read it carefully. (I know that Naruto loves all his ramen but this flavor of noodles deserve to be called crap!!)

_**NEW!! RAMEN FLAVORED RAMEN!**_

Naruto sighed and added a whole bag of sugar into the ramen, the sugar overflowing from the small cup. Admiring the upgrades his had done to the ramen, he crunched the rest of them down.

After eating his sugary lunch, Naruto wondered who should he use the voodoo doll on first. Naruto grinned evilly at the thought of his first victim.

**To be continued…**

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This is a bit longer than expected but it's going to get even longer! (maybe…) 

Kuchiyose no Jutsu!! What do I summon…? REVIEWS!! 


	3. Stalking Sasuke

Hey! It's finally here! The third chapter! Sorry for the delay… I was so caught up in watching and reading Naruto in anime and manga that I almost forgot to continue writing this chapter… heh… heh… Right now, I'm at episode 188 and on the 9th book. Yes! Only a few more filler episodes left! Anywayz, here it is!!

You know how it is:

_Italics thinking_

**Bold anything that's worth bolding**

Underline err…anything that's worth underlining..?

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Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any of it's characters. The one and only Masashi Kishimoto does… 

**Chapter 3: Stalking Sasuke**

Later that afternoon, Sasuke was at the chestnut shop drinking tea under the umbrella. With Naruto sneaking up to him 'stealthily'.

_Heh heh heh… all I need is a strand of your hair and…_

Just as the raven-haired ninja took a sip from his cup, Naruto jumped out from hiding and ran behind a tree.

_Whew, looks like he hasn't noticed me yet…now all I have to do is to get behind him. _He waited until Sasuke takes another sip and…

_Here it is, here's my chance!! _The kyuubi boy dashed away from the tree and headed towards Sasuke's back.

"GYAAAAACK!"

Naruto had tripped over a piece of rock. Everything's in slow motion… (use your imagination peoples!)

_NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! _Thought Naruto as he falls to the ground.

_Henge no Jutsu!!_

POOF!! (You can stop slow motion-ing now)

Sasuke turned his head to see what's all that noise but apart from a bunch of smoke, he saw nothing new. Down at the floor, Naruto, now a meatball was sweating madly.

Man that's close… now to roll over behind Sasuke and… 

B-bump, B-bump… Naruto got more and more excited as he inched towards his victim.

"WAAAAAH!!" the meatball Naruto cried as he was being swept away by the shopkeeper's broom. "NOOO! I WAS SO CLOSE!!!!" 

"Huh? I could've sworn that I heard Naruto" Sasuke shrugged.

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_Now's time to use plan B._ Naruto thought as he steadied himself on the rooftop of the young Uchiha's home. Naruto swung down and peered into the window. Seeing that the room is empty, he quickly jumped in.

"Man, this guy's house is huge!! He even got a larger fridge than me and... HEY!!!" Naruto shouted, pointing to a poster on the wall. Now you know how Naruto has this poster that says **Kick Sasuke's Butt, **well now Sasuke has the corresponding one: A plain Sasuke-made (not man-made, it's Sasuke-made) poster with the words **Kick Naruto's Butt** and a crappily drown picture of Naruto with a cross over the face.

Just then, Naruto's stomach growled loudly. It was evening and Naruto hasn't eaten dinner yet but the thought of his tasteless ramen flavored ramen made him shiver, plus he had run out of sugar. Just then, another evil idea has popped up inside Naruto's head. He walked over to the fridge and yanked it open.

There, inside, stood rows and rows of tomatoes!!

"SASUKE, YOU FREAK!!! Hey, what's that?" Naruto said to nobody in particular and reached in towards the back of the fridge and pulled out…

"OMG!!! A PACKET OF INSTANT PORK FLAVOURED RAMEN!!! (Sasuke keeps instant ramen in his fridge?! Weird… :D) So the blond nin sat down happily to cook 'his' ramen.

Minutes later, Sasuke returns to his home to see Naruto sitting on the couch eating ramen.

"Naruto? What the hell are you doing here?" Sasuke asked

Aww, Sh-t what bad timing…time to get outta here… 

"Initiating escape sequence #2465!" Naruto declared.

"HYAH!!!" he shouted as he took one of the tomatoes and threw it at Sasuke's face, but the Uchiha dodged it easily. The red fruit landed on the carpet with a splat.

"NOOOO!!! My precious tomato collection!!! NARUTO!!! YOU'RE GONNA PAY!!! Sasuke roared. His eyes became sharingan and glowed in an evil blood red. He cracked his knuckles as purplish killing chakra surrounded him.

"… Aw, crap…" was all Naruto could say as he dodged Sasuke's kunais. In defense, Naruto threw more tomatoes at the enraged genin. The half food fight continued into the night, one was desperate to escape and the other was avenging his tomato collection.

Hours later, the tired shinobi stood in the trashed room, panting. The tables and couches were upturned; a thick layer of red pulp and seeds covered half the room while the other half was covered in kunai knives and shurikens. The fridge door was left open, revealing its empty shelves. By now, both boys had ran out of ammo (weapons, and in Naruto's case, tomatoes), their chakra and stamina was at low…. But Naruto still has one trick up his sleeve…

"Orioke no Jutsu!" Naruto attempted to transform into something that would knock Sasuke out but with his chakra so low; the jutsu went completely kaput.

At that time, the smarter-than-Naruto Sasuke began to lick the tomato-covered wall for an extra energy boost. Soon, the dark haired boy has recharged his energy. Once again, his onyx colored eyes turned sharingan and evil-purplish-killing chakra covered his body just like hours before.

"Bwhahaha! Never underestimate the power of tomatoes!!" Sasuke laughed.

"WHAT!? HE…HE RECOVERED THAT FAST!?" of course Naruto has regained a little strength as well because of his kyuubi powers, but it's still not enough to allow him to use jutsus. Just then, Sasuke picked up a table and hurled it at Naruto! He barely dodged the attack and watched it fall out the window with a crash. Sasuke picked up the couch and was ready to throw.

"That's it, I'm outta here!" Naruto said, jumping out after the table and fled.

Meanwhile Sasuke put the furniture down and sat on the stained carpet.

"Thanks a lot Naruto, Now my house is trashed…my revenge continues…"Sasuke muttered and laughed like some crazy villain.

To be continued…

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I was going to write Naruto's next plan but I got carried away while writing about his plan B. So now, the title doesn't really match the contents of the chapter. 

**Review if you want to see Sasuke completing his revenge on Naruto.**

**Review if you want to see more voodoo action.**

**Review if you want to know why Sasuke laughed like some evil villain. **

**Review if you don't want to know.**

**Review if you want to see more characters in the story.**

**Review if you want to be a ninja.**

**Review if you just wanted to…**

**…** **Just review!!!**


	4. An S Ranked Plan

Well, here is the long waited chapter 4! With more characters included and it's more focused on Sasuke. Why I underline, bold and italic things, see chapters 1 and 2. Incase you're wondering, this story is set before Sasuke leaves the village. BEFORE!

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Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto! You hear me?! 

**Chapter 4: An S Ranked Plan**

It quiet, too quiet, as Uzumaki Naruto, the shinobi with a voodoo doll in his butt bag (somebody tell me what it's called), was walking towards Ichiraku for his usual order of ramen. Just as he came close to the restaurant, he found Sasuke off guard, eating.

"Mehehehe… Plan S is ready to go…" whispered the Naruto mischievously as took out a kunai with an explosive note attached to it.

It has been a few days since Naruto began to stalk Sasuke. He's had 18 tries at stealing a strand of his hair, but failed each time. At the end of those 18 attempts, Naruto has found himself falling off a cliff, being captured by mist ninjas and being beaten by Sasuke each time! But nothing beats the horrifying experience of being stuck on a camping trip with Konoha's youth obsessed, thick browed duo, Gai and Lee!! Now it's payback time…

The blond nin crept closer and closer to his target…

_Here it is… _Naruto aimed the kunai and flung it at the Uchiha's direction with full force…

STAB

Early that morning: Sasuke POV (This is sort of a flashback)

BLEEP BLEEP…

Huh? What's that noise… damn, it's the alarm going off, why does it have to be now? Great, just great! Right in the middle of my dream of blasting Naruto to Uranus with a giant bazooka. Stupid alarm clock… Snooze… I need snooze… where's that button…?

BLEEP BLEE-

WHAM!

…

Much better… zzzzzzzzzz…

BLAAP BLAAP BLAAP!!! (That's the smashed alarm clock)

ARRGH! WHAT THE HELL??? THIS FREAKIN' THING RANG TWO SECONDS AGO!!… What time is it…? OMG!! IT'S 3 AM!!! (Yes, 3 am, it's not a typo.) I NEED TO TRAIN!!!…

…

…Nah…I'll go later…zzzzz

BLAAP BLAAP BLAAP!!!

FINE!! I'LL GET UP!!! Geez…

…

Okay, Sasuke, calm down, you're acting like Naruto, it's really **uncool** to get pissed off over one stupid alarm clock. Just get your butt over to the training grounds and practice your shuriken techniques.

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(Huff), (huff)... These stupid targets are so tiny, I can barely see them, dammit! I missed again! Stupid targets… die!! Stab it like you mean it, Sasuke! Stab it like its Orochimaru's ugly face!! STAB, STAB, STAB!!! Uh oh, I'm acting like that idiot again. Calm down… Breathe…Now put that target back on the branch. Ugh, it looks like that Milo tin that I demolished that day… ahh good times… 

Hmm… it's getting bright, I better get out of here before the fan girls find me. I better take the long way home.

**Normal POV**

So Sasuke took the long way home. It's not just the long way; it's THE long way so it's really long. And by that it means that it's a reeeeeaaaaaalllly long way. He could've just went the short way, which is around 3 blocks to his house, but noooo, he has to take the loooong way which is like 10 blocks long.

**Block 9:**

_One down, nine to go. Good. No fan girls yet._

**Block 8:**

"Hey, Sasuke-kun!" Ino waved from the entrance of the Yamanaka flower shop and ran over to greet him.

"Aw, nuts. Why now?" Sasuke said as he ran in the opposite direction, away from the blond kunoichi.

Half an hour later, they are still running. _Damn, how much stamina does she have? Nobody outruns me, the great Uchiha Sasuke after all that training…well maybe Kakashi-sensei, Lee, that freaky teacher with the caterpillar eyebrows, err whatshisname, etc etc._

An hour later, they are still running. This time, a whole bunch of fan girls are chasing after the Uchiha - all because he took the long way instead of the short way.

And so Sasuke ran and ran even though he's really pushing his limits and not allowing himself, the great Sasuke to become outran by some fan girl. Inside his head, there was a mile-long list of all those people he would eventually outrun (you wish!)

Sasuke: Hey, make the fan girls go away! This is all your fault you know.

Author: Why should I?

Sasuke: Because you're driving me nuts by sending all those fan girls after me.

Author: It's your own fault for going the **long** way.

Sasuke: Yeah yeah, just get rid of them will ya?

Author: Do it yourself!

Sasuke: Fine! (Did a few hand seals and poofed away)

**Block 2:**

_All right! Only a little more left..._

"Okay, I'll make a run for it-"

"Bye!" Sakura's voice came from her house which is not far ahead from where Sasuke was standing.

"NOOOOO!!! Not again!! They're everywhere! It's the end of the world!! Muhahahahaha!!!" Sasuke laughed like some evil scientist who had just made a deathray that would destroy the whole world. And so, the ninja medics team took him to the mental institute and lived happily ever after.

The end.

NOT!!

"Oh sh-t!" Sasuke mumbled and pulled on Konohamaru's piece of cloth that he uses to camouflage to the background (which he stole of course XD).

**Meanwhile, Konohamaru is…**

"That's it Sasuke, you've just added your name on my burn scroll!!" Yelled the frustrated academy student as he continued to struggle out of the net (see chapter 2).

**Back to Sasuke…**

He waited and waited for the pink haired nin to go away. After, half an hour, Sasuke dropped 'his' cloth onto the ground and shook his extremely numb hands. By now, it's already noon and he hasn't eaten yet. He turned around the corner to see, the Ichiraku ramen bar!!

Relived, he strode in coolly and ordered some ramen. What he didn't know was that there's a bucket of caramel dangling above his head.

Right outside the Ichiraku, Uzumaki Naruto was walking towards Ichiraku for his usual order of ramen. Just as he came close to the restaurant, he found Sasuke off guard, eating.

"Mehehehe… Plan S is ready to go…" whispered the Naruto mischievously as took out a kunai with an explosive note attached to it.

The blond nin crept closer and closer to his target…

_Here it is… _Naruto aimed the kunai and flung it at the Uchiha's direction with full force…

CLANG!!!

The kunai has stabbed the bucket above Sasuke's head and sparks appeared from the explosive note. The Uchiha turned to see what's all that noise when…

KABOOM!

The note has exploded, blowing up the bucket into bits and the unfortunate Sasuke has got most of it's contents blown into his face. The thick, sticky liquid splattered everywhere in the ramen shop but most of it got stuck on Sasuke's clothes, on his face, in his eyebrows and in his hair!! Yes!! All that sticky, brownish, gooey, sticky, sugary, sticky, dripping, and stickystuff ruining his silky, bird-looking, deep blue hair that has made **him** Uchiha Sasuke.

Sasuke froze at the sight of this sugary stuff all over his body. His one and only weakness: sweets. The only thing that could defeat him without even lifting a finger. It took him a while to snap out of it and glared the only person that would pull such a horrible prank. Naruto. At that time, the fox boy took advantage of the moment and attempt to pull off some of Uchiha's hair. He grabbed a strand and began to pull but the caramel has glued it to his head. So Naruto pull it with everything he's got.

A loud ripping noise filled the air as Naruto ripped off a whole chunk of Sasuke's deep blue hair, leaving the back of his head bald! (I hear Sasuke fans screaming their heads off, Sasuke haters cheering their heads off.)

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!" Sasuke screamed in pain and anger. Nobody gets away with ripping his hair.

"NARUTO!!!! YOU SONOFA-!!! I'M GONNA KIIIILLLL YOU!!!!!" Sasuke ran with bits of caramel dripping behind him.

Naruto did the most intelligent thing he could think of: Run!!!

"NOOOOOOOOOO!! SOMEBODY HELP!! CRAZY MURDERER ON THE LOOSE!!!" Naruto cried as he sped pass some bystanders who were all staring at the half-bald Uchiha.

Back at to ramen shop, the ramen guy came out from the storage room, only to find caramel everywhere. On the stove, in the soup, on the walls, on the floor, on the uncooked ramen, and on everything else that's in the shop. And of course, he knew all too well who would dare to do something like this. With veins popping up everywhere and glowing red eyes, the ramen guy ran after the troublemaker with a huge rolling pin in his hands.

To be continued…

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That's it for the chapter! I bet you will be wondering why is all the bad stuff happening to Sasuke? Well one thing's for sure; there would be plenty more humiliating and unfortunate things happening to him AND the other genins… 

**Review if you want to see more voodoo action!!**


	5. Voodoo Action Activated!

It is finally here! Just as the title of the chapter says, voodoo action is ACTIVATED!! Thanks to all those who has reviewed. I'm going to start another Naruto fanfic. Keep a lookout for it! XD

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto in any way whatsoever. eBay is NOT mine either. But I do own this fanfic though…

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Chapter 5: Voodoo Action Activated!!

"WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" Naruto shouted as he bolted down the streets of Konoha.

"TAJUU BUNSHIN NO JUTSU!!" with a poof, 500 Naruto replicas appeared, each holding a bunch of Sasuke's caramel filled hair. The Narutos scattered and spreaded to all the parts of the village.

"Grr…Bunshin no Jutsu." muttered the Uchiha teen. _Naruto's probably too stupid to know that they're not solid…_

So the Sasukes ran after the Narutos. Jumping over roofs, smashing walls, getting paper cuts… (A/N: WTF!?) The real Sasuke punching, kicking and Katon-ing the Narutos… only to have cause them to disappear in puffs of smoke. Soon there was only one Naruto left, cornered in a room in Konoha Hospital. The Sasukes snapped their knuckles and prepared to give Naruto his beating of a lifetime. They all threw their fists at the young blonde…

POOF!!

"What!?" they activated their Sharingan and scanned the room. All their eyes focused and stared at an uncool looking Sasuke (according to the real Sasuke) with stripes on his face, the ones that Naruto has!!

"Naruto!" the Sasukes charges forwards towards the panicking blonde. Naruto glanced around for an escape route but there's bunshins all over the place, he don't know which is the real Sasuke. He can't risk being beaten to pulp by some Uchiha maniac who has snapped just because someone has ripped out a tiny bit of his hair- well not a tiny bit but you get the point, getting pissed of over a bunch of hair some shinobi he is.

Anywayz, Naruto spotted the window! The large window that happens to be there- so convenient. The same window that nobody has bothered to make smaller after Kabuto has crashed through it. So Naruto made the smart decision and did what Kabuto did when he escaped from Kakashi. Naruto chucked a few kunais at the glass, cracking the surface. Then he tumbled out the window, getting a few cuts on the way (it's amazing how Kabuto manages to do that without a scratch).

Sasuke stared in disbelief at the Sasuke with stripes on his face poof back into the orange Naruto.

_If the dobe could do this then it should be a breeze for me._ He took a few steps back and somersaulted through the hole with perfection. Just then, a shocking sight has caused the teen to panic. Waaaaay down on the ground, Naruto was scattering spikes everywhere, covering every inch with small triangular pointy thingys. There's no way that Sasuke could land without hurting himself. He also too far from the building so he couldn't use his chakra to stick to the wall.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! SASUKE-KUUUUUUUUUN!!!" a large mob of fangirls came to the rescue. They all stood under him with their arms out to catch him. In the meantime, Naruto got knocked into the river to swim with the fishes. Sasuke who was still falling (which is quite weird) was freaking out at the thought of all the horrible stuff that the fangirls could do once they have their hands on him. He began to go into fetal positions and sucked his thumb.

After what seems like an hour, Sasuke finally landed in the lovingly **evil** arms of the fangirls where he was pulled and stretched in a fight over him. Naruto laughed at the sight and swam away to eat ramen.

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Sasuke, while the girls are still fighting, has sneaked off to buy a Sasuke wig off eBay for $200. He decided to travel on rooftops so nobody could see his half-bald head. He entered the Icha Icha Bookshop (which also happens to be the village's post office in case you're getting weird thoughts). Just as he has gotten his crappy and itchy wig out of the parcel and onto his head, he was spotted by none other than the famous copy ninja Kakashi-sensei!! 

"Hmm? Oh hey Sasuke, what are you doing here? Are you trying to buy a late birthday present for your own sensei? Why thank you! I'll just turn over there so I won't spoil the surprise:D " the silvered haired shinobi said quickly all at once, leaving the dumbfounded Uchiha to slowly process all that talking in his tired little brain.

"Having trouble deciding? Well what about this one? The latest edition of Icha Icha Paradise! XD " Kakashi said while grabbing the small orange book off the shelf and shoved it at Sasuke's face. (not literally though…damn)

**Moments earlier. At the Ichiraku Ramen...**

"Thanks for cleaning my shop for me (although it was your fault but oh well at least he's learnt his lesson" said the ramen guy. Naruto slurped his ramen while looking at his stuffed-full-of-caramelized-Sasuke-hair voodoo doll he has named Chashu (roasted pork, an ingredient in a bowl of ramen). He pondered a while about how he could **torment **Sasuke with his new toy…er…

Anti-Sasuke weapon.

"Hey! Chashu needs to smell like chashu just as how I smell like naruto!!" Without thinking, Naruto dunked the poor voodoo doll in the remainder of his nice and hot chashu-flavoured soup.

**Back to Sasuke in the Icha Icha Bookshop/Post office with Kakashi shoving the latest edition of Icha Icha Paradise in his face...**

Sasuke stared at the cover. Suddenly, he felt a chill down his spine followed by a really painful burning sensation all over his body.

"GAAAAAAAHHHH!!! IT BURNS!!!!" he shouted and ran out the store.

"Wow…I never knew that Sasuke is a G rated person, he got freaked out just by looking at the cover. I wonder if all the genins act that way…" said the deeply mistaken Kakashi-Sensei and took coughstolecough the book to show all the genin in Konoha and in the surrounding countries.

A while later as the sun sets and the stars shone brightly, Naruto finally removed Chashu from the soup and took it home to think about more ways to torment Sasuke with his voodoo. Sasuke, who was sitting in a bathtub of cold water at home, suddenly felt that his body was no longer burning and got a cold from sitting in the icy cold water. The fangirls finally stopped fighting to have noticed that their beloved Uchiha boy was missing and formed a search party. Kakashi showed the book to Tenten, Lee and Neji and got chewed out by Gai for polluting their youthfulness with perverted books. Konohamaru finally freed himself from the evil shinobi net and began to write Sasuke's name in his burn scroll. The ramen guy fed the leftovers from Sasuke's forgotten bowl of ramen (which was still full) to the fishes in the river. Kisame, who was playing with his shark friends, ate the soggy ramen. Naruto went home to play Naruto: Ultimate Ninja on PS2 with him winning against Sasuke by 109 to 0 (it's in 2-player mode so TV Sasuke does not attack in return) Sasuke was at home, stuffing himself with food since he did not eat anything since 3 am. Everybody else went to sleep and prepared for next day's mission.

**To be continued…**

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Hooray!!! (Makes Naruto do the victory dance on Naruto: Ultimate Ninja) 

I finally put some voodoo action into the story. For once this is not a cliffhanger. Don't let all this work go to waste, REVIEW!! Guess who would be next after Sasuke?

I'll give you a clue: that person is a Konoha genin. That new victim of the dreaded voodoo doll will most likely to show up in the next one or two chapters.

Cookies for all who guesses it right. I'll send it via email ;p


	6. Sasuke vs Neji!

Thanks for that **one** review peoples. Anyways, here's the best chapter yet!! Sasuke vs. Neji!!

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Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any of its characters. If I do, Sasuke would not become a traitor that he is... 

**Chapter 6: Sasuke vs. Neji!!**

The next day team 7 stood at their usual spot on the bridge waiting for their favorite masked sensei. Just like always, they have to wait for him to show up with another crappy excuse. Their patience is wearing thin…

"ARRRGH!! Kakashi-sensei is late AGAIN!! And he's gonna make up some stupid excuse that nobody believes in. This sucks!" Naruto pouted.

"Geez Naruto, shut up! He does that every time, so get use to it!! Right, Sasuke-kun?" Sakura shot back. _"Damn you Kakashi-sensei, I'm gonna punch you so hard…"_ Inner Sakura yelled.

"Hn." Went the Uchiha boy.

"WHAT?! You actually like to stand around and wait? Wow Sasuke, you're lamer than I thought!" Naruto said out loud so the whole village could hear him.

"NARUTO!! DON'T INSULT SASUKE-KUN!!" Sakura punched Naruto on the head

"Oww…" Naruto sat on the ground rubbing the huge bump on his head.

"Hey Sasuke wanna bet on what Kakashi-sensei's excuse would be?" he leaped towards his teammate/rival.

"What do I get if I win?" he replied sounding interested, which was quite rare for the famous Uchiha.

"The loser has to do something gross like when you drink orange juice and brush your teeth! And then… and then they have to not rinse it out for the whole day!!" the hyperactive nin declared.

"You're on!" _It would be fun to see his stupid face when he loses. And I'll be in the background recording the whole thing…_

**At that same time,**

"Kakashi? What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be with your team?" asked Kurenai.

"…oh yeah" came Kakashi's reply, scratching the back of his head. He quickly put his 'special' book away and ran.

**Team 7**

"I bet that he's gonna say that he has to help old grannies cross the road or something" naruto suggested

"No, he's gonna say he got lost on his way here. Plus, we live in a shinobi village, old grannies don't need help to cross roads. Dumbass…"

"Go to hell!!" Naruto pulled out a kunai and threw it at Sasuke

POOF

"Now, now Naruto, don't kill your comrades" Kakashi said calmly as he grabbed the flying kunai. "Yo." He waved.

"YOU'RE LATE!!!" Naruto and Sakura yelled in unison.

"I had to help out on this national survey about Konoha genins' reactions towards certain books, it's very important you know." He said with a smile, not that you could actully tell...

"LIAR!!" Naruto and Sakura yelled.

"It's half true though…" Kakashi added

"Anyways, everybody come with meeeeeeee" he said enthusiastically.

"Aww, can't we go eat ramen first? I'm hungry." Naruto whined, putting on his best puppy-dog eyes.

"Nope, no time for that we have an important mission today." Said the silver haired nin, being totally oblivious to the cute chibi face.

"Really? Alright!!! Finally, a challenge!! This is so cool!!" Naruto danced around while the rest of the team stared with their WTF face on.

"Let's go." Kaksahi interrupted.

"Yay!! I'm gonna do my best so I could become Hokage!! I'll make a day when everybody has to eat ramen! Yes!! Ramen Day!!" Naruto continued and shot his arms up into the air.

"Uh, Naruto…?"

"I'm gonna kick the enemies' asses with this jutsu and then I'll do that…."

"Naruto, you…"

"And I'm not gonna let that loser Sasuke make me look bad this time -"

"Naruto!! Snap out of it and get moving!!!" Kakashi is currently very pissed by now. Steam was coming out of his ears!

Everybody around Kakashi stared at him. And I mean EVERYBODY. The team (Naruto to be exact) kept quiet and followed.

The silence only lasted for a few minutes.

"Ha Ha, you didn't guess it right, you have to drink orange juice and brush your teeth! Nyah!" Naruto poked a tongue out at Sasuke.

"So, you have to do that as well." That shut Naruto up.

"Kakashi-sensei, what's the mission about?" Sakura asked

"You'll see…"

They stopped at the village gates, team 8, team 10 and team Gai were already there waiting. Team 7 joined the crowd. Kakashi pulled out his orange book and read.

"Kakashi!! You're late again!! That means another point for me because I'm on time and you're not!!" Gai shouted over the chattering genins as he ran towards his rival.

"Huh, did you say something?" the copy nin said without looking away from his novel.

"Again, you have replied with your youthful replies! I will make up my own youthful replies to out-reply you!!"

Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke left the two jonins to join the group of genins

"Hey guys" Naruto said

"Helloooooo" Lee greeted cheerfully.

"Oh, um… h-hi, Naruto-kun…" Hinata mumbled.

"…" said Neji, Shino and Shika.

"Hey" everybody else said.

"So do you guys know what's up?" Sasuke asked.

"Nope, no clue. It must be something important since all of us are here." said Shikamaru.

"Damn" the Uchiha said in return. The two stood in silence…

"Hey look," Naruto pointed at something in the horizon. There was something coming closer and closer to them. They couldn't see what it was as it was shrouded in dust from the dirt path.

"Alright! It's finally here!!" Gai cheered

_Huh? What the hell is he talking about? _The genins thought

Everybody squinted at the distant object. Just when they had caught a glimpse of it, they were all knocked unconscious by their own sensei.

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"Uhh… what the? What happened?" said the dazed Sasuke, who had just woken up from his concussion. 

"The wheels on the bus go triangle, triangle, and triangle. The wheels on the bus go triangle, all day long!" Naruto sang in his ever-so-happy-and-innocent voice.

"Naruto!! Stop singing that over and over! It's driving me nuts!! We're not even on a bus, we're on a helicopter! Besides, wheels aren't even triangle and helicopters don't even have wheels!" Sakura snapped. "Oh! Sasuke-kun!! You're awake!!" Sakura said lovingly.

"We're on a chopper!? Cool!!" Naruto shouted excitedly.

"Kakashi-sensei, why did you knock us out?" Sasuke protested.

"Oh, err… we didn't want you guys to complain and skip out on this so we knocked you senseless and shoved you in the helicopter." The sensei explained using finger puppets while Gai makes the sound effects.

"What?! You're not the boss of me, I want off!" Sasuke got off his seat and headed towards the exit. He looked out the door-window and saw the ground miles and miles and miles below them.

"…great…" Sasuke slumped back down on his seat.

Behind, where team 7 was the Ino-Shika-Cho trio. Choji was happily munching down a bag of BBQ flavored chips. (they were sitting on rows of seats) Ino was still knocked out. Shika was gazing at the clouds passing by. Infront of Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke, was team 8. Kiba was Shouting yahoos while Akamaru bark excitedly. Hinata was playing with her fingers, occasionally glancing at Naruto's direction. Shino was just being Shino. At the back of the chopper, Lee was shouting yosh, disturbing the meditating Neji. Tenten was polishing her weapons. Way in the front, the teachers were talking very quietly so the chances of eavesdropping on them would be almost zero. (Don't ask why the helicopter is so big.)

"Hey Choji! Gemmie some chips!" went Naruto.

"Sure" Choji said between munches, handing over the chips packet.

"Hey! It's the last one! Thanks Choji!" Naruto took out the last piece of chip.

"NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! " Choji shouted. He snatched the fried piece of potato from Naruto's hand and stuffed it in his mouth.

"HEEEEEEY!!! What the hell!? I thought you let me have it!" Naruto complained

"Nobody gets to eat the last piece except me! Bwhahaha!!" Choji explained. He took out another bag of chips and ripped the packet open. "Here, its ramen flavored :D" the two munched the ramen flavored chips happily.

While that's happening, Neji appeared right next to Sasuke's.

"Uchiha Sasuke." the Hyuuga prodigy scowled.

"Hyuuga Neji." Sasuke glared.

"I challenge you…" Neji started.

Sasuke's eyes widened. _Finally!! A chance to challenge Hyuuga!!_

"…to an arm wrestle match!!" Sasuke sweatdropped.

"Fine." Sasuke replied they held out their hands and got ready.

"Hey!! Neji and Sasuke are arm wrestling each other!!" Naruto announced. Everyone including the teachers rushed forwards to see. "Com-pet-ti-tion!" Naruto sang.

"Alright!! I've been waiting a long time for this. It's my student versus yours Kakashi!! Let's see who the better teacher is!!" Gai pulled out a video camera and began to record the action.

_Hmm… maybe I should use Chashu (the voodoo doll remember?) to rig the competition_… Naruto thought.

Hinata ended up being the referee. "Um… first, you can't use your charka to help you." She said while activating her byakugan. "Second, y-you can't do funny faces to make your opponent stuff up. T-third, do your best because t-this is going on national TV." She nodded at Gai and his video recorder.

"This is gonna be the highlight of the month!!" Gai yelled excitedly.

"You're going down, Uchiha. Fate has already decided that." Neji threatened.

"We'll see about that." Sasuke sneered

"Ready?" Hinata said. The two tightened their grip, which look suspiciously like they were trying to crush each other's hand. None of them showed any sign of weakness.

"Set?"

"BANANA!!" Naruto cut in.

"Naruto stop interrupting!! This is important!!" Sakura punched Naruto in the face.

"Ready, Set?" Hinata said again.

"YOSH!!" lee shouted.

"Lee!! Shut up!!" Tenten scolded.

"Ready, set," Hinata repeated once again after being interrupted for the second time.

"Go!!"

**To be continued…**

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Review peoples!! Really, how could someone spend 5 minutes reading this chapter and not take a few seconds reviewing!? I'm not gonna upload until I get up to 20 reviews for this story. Nyah!! ;p 

Next chapter…

The match between Sasuke and Neji continues!

An unexpected character arrives! One word: sand. This is still a humor/parody fanfic though!!

More voodoo action!!

YOSH!!


	7. The Purpose of a Voodoo Doll

**Heh, I was kidding about the reviews thing, really! Believe it!!** But really, you guys should review no matter good or bad. Thanks to those who reviewed. I just realized that I haven't made Naruto say dattebyo even once!! I'll try to put some in. But wait!! I don't know when to put it in!! I'll just have to use 'Believe it' instead.

Disclaimer: Naruto does not belong to I, the Orochimaru theme as well.

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Chapter7: The purpose of a voodoo doll

"Ready, set,"

"Go!!"

Everyone leaned closer to get a better view of the two arm wrestling prodigies. Gai zoomed in with his video recorder. Kakashi put down his book to see the competition.

"Let's see how long you can last." Neji smirked. The hands were starting to lean towards Sasuke's side, but the Uchiha wasn't going to back down.

"Heh" Sasuke replied as he began to push back with all his might. Now it's tilting towards Neji's side.

_Whoa! He's good… _Neji thought and at the last second before touching the seat, he pushed his hand back up and tries to push it with all the strength he has. Now both hands are upright and are twitching slightly.

"What a comeback!!" Lee yelled into the recorder. "Now both contestants are giving this competition everything they've got!! Look at all the youthful power radiating from them!! You could almost sense it from way over here!!"

"Good job Lee!! That commentary was great!!" Gai shouted."

"Thanks Gai-sensei!!"

"Lee!!"

"Gai-sensei!!"

"Lee!!"

"Gai-sensei!!"

They hugged and a sunset and waves magically appeared out of nowhere. Kakashi took the video recorder from Gai and pointed it back at the prodigies. Neji and Sasuke are still struggling to move their arms away from the starting position.

"Well, since nothing is happening yet, let's go to a commercial break." Kakashi said. "Behold!! The most brilliant thing that has happened to the world of literature!! The Icha Icha Series!!" the copy nin held his orange infront of the lens and began to wave it around.

10 minutes later, it's still the same. Now both Sasuke and Neji are exhausted.

"Pretty good, Uchiha, this is the longest match I've ever had. Let's see how long you could last." Neji muttered.

"Right back at you." The two glared at each other.

"Wake me up when something exciting happens." Shikamaru yawned and went to sleep. Choji was up to his 15th bag of chips. Tenten began to polish her weapons again. Kakashi had just finished making the advertisement for the last book he has with him. Every body else was still paying attention to the match.

_Man, this sucks! They're not getting anywhere. Believe it!! Time to make things interesting._ Naruto thought and sneaked up behind Neji and took the loose strand of hair that was stuck on Neji's sleeve, hoping that he hasn't noticed.

Naruto went back to his seat and took his voodoo doll out from his bag. He was just about to put Neji's hair in the doll when something caught his eye. A strand of bright red hair was stuck to the window.

"Hey! Isn't that one of those voodoo dolls that you could find in ramen packets?" came a voice from behind him.

(A/N: Gaara is going to be very OOC in this story)

"Huh!? Who-" Naruto spun around in surprise "Gaara!?"

"Wow! Those are ultra rare!!" Gaara said while looking over Naruto's shoulder. " I tried to get one for Kankuro for his birthday once. Anyways, you were about to use it powers to rig the arm wrestle match cuz' nothing exciting has happened, right?"

"Uh-huh" Naruto nodded.

"Well, let me show you what it could do basically."

"S-since nothing is happening, y-you can use your chakra now." Hinata announced. Sasuke and Neji smirked.

"This is it!!" Neji said as he tried to use juuken on Sasuke's arm wrestling arm with his own. But before he could do anything, he felt an itch at the back of his neck. He tried to shake it away but it has no effect on it. Neji has no choice but to resist the urge to scratch, he could not afford to lose his concentration.

At that time, Gaara was tickling the voodoo doll with a feather. "First, whatever you do to the voodoo doll happens to the owner of the hair inside it but this only makes the body sense things like pain or itchiness."

Now Neji is making weird noises as he tries hard not to laugh, but failed. Gaara removed Neji's hair from the voodoo doll.

"Second, the effects of the voodoo doll would be lifted when the hair is removed." Gaara explained. Neji stopped laughing. The sand shinobi put Sasuke's hair in the doll. It transformed into something that looks like Sasuke.

"This is what separates an ultra rare voodoo doll with a normal one. When you use the hair that you have used before, it would transform into a similar version of that person and allows you to do ore things to it such as this." Gaara took a red marker from his bag and scribbled the word 'loser' on the doll's forehead. The word 'loser' appeared on the real Sasuke. Everybody except Sasuke noticed this and laughed.

The Uchiha, who was unaware of what's happening to his forehead, just gave everybody a death glare which was ignored by all. Enraged, Sasuke abandoned the arm wrestling match and tried to bully people into telling him what's going on.

"Here" Gaara threw the doll back to Naruto.

"Err…thanks. How did you know all this?" the blonde asked

"Wouldn't **you **wanna know?" Gaara replied and walked away from all the questions. _If I tell him, he'll blab it out to everybody and Kankuro would kill me if he finds out that I stole his precious book on magical dolls…if he can…_

But poor Gaara could never escape from the evil clutches of the things he's about to face.

"GAAAAAH!! It's that Gaara guy!! The guy who crushed my arm and leg during the chuunin exams!! And he tried to kill me afterwards!!" Lee pointed.

"YAAAAAAAH!! It's the sand controlling freak who almost killed Sasuke-kun and I when we went after Sasuke-kun!!" Sakura screamed.

"NOOOOOOOO!! It's the guy who killed Dosu!!" Kakashi yelled.

"What!? He did? We thought that the sound freak forfeited." All the genins said, astonished.

"Baka, you weren't supposed to let that slip!!" Kurenai scolded.

"NOOOOOOO!! I'll get demoted for sure!!" An image of an evil fire breathing demonic Tsunade-looking thing appeared in Kakashi's mind, saying that he would be back to chuunin and looking after academy kids like Iruka.

"Ah-ha!! I get another point for not letting things slip out to the genins!!" Gai butted in.

"Would you stop talking about your points!? I'm trying to panic here!!" the copy nin snapped back.

"Hey, how did you get here anyways?" Kiba asked.

"I was cleverly disguised as one of your beloved sensei!! Asuma!!" Gaara announced.

"But he's right there." Ino pointed to the seat in the corner which was shrouded in smoke.

"Oh, fine, I hitchhiked." Gaara admitted.

"How the hell do you hitchhike a helicopter?" Sakura yelled.

"With my amazing Sand manipulating and levitating abilities of course!!" the sand man announced to the world.

"Then why do you even bother to hitchhike when you could just travel on your sand?" Naruto asked.

"It was a wonderful day in Suna. As I was out training, a huge sandstorm picked me up and dumped me down on an island in the middle of the ocean. Since I can't swim or anything, I had to hitchhike." The red head explained.

"Get. Away. From. Me." Sasuke muttered and tried to shove Gaara out the door.

"Now now Sasuke, don't try to kill someone without a good reason" Kakashi said from behind his book.

"Hmph." The Uchiha… hmphed.

"Okay, with that sorted out, we need to put you into teams." Kurenai announced.

"But we're already in teams." Tenten pointed out.

"You need to work members from other teams for this mission. It would promote friendship and teamwork between teams. You can also learn how to cope with certain situations with different people." Asuma said.

(A/N: It's before Sasuke leaves so the teams aren't messed up)

_Yeah right as if I'm gonna work with Hyuuga… _A certain someone with a scowl thought.

_Yeah right as if I'm gonna work with Uchiha… _Another certain someone with a scowl thought.

"…You might even need to overcome rivalries in order to survive" Kakashi concluded.

"But I'm not working with him, he's totally different and hard to cope with!!" Sasuke and Neji complained simultaneously, pointing at each other.

"See, you're working together already!" Kakashi smiled.

"Grr… hmph" the prodigies turned away.

"Alright, let's choose your teams! There will be three teams and the leaders are Neji, Ino and Sasuke! Pick your teams starting with Neji, then Ino and last, Sasuke." Kakashi announced excitedly.

"Hey, why do Hyuuga get to choose first?" Sasuke yelled.

"That's what you get for trying to kill Gaara." The silver haired ninja retorted. That shut Sasuke right up.

"I pick Gaara." Neji started.

"Tenten." Ino chose carefully.

"Shino." picked Sasuke.

"Lee."

"Um… Hinata." Ino chose the other Byakugan user.

"Shikamaru."

"Naruto."

_NOOOO!!! Naruto-kun won't be in my team AGAIN!!!_ Hinata made a sad face and looked at the floor.

"Fine, Sakura." Ino said rolling her eyes at Sakura who has her puppy face on.

"Kiba."

"And Sasuke gets Choji for choosing last." Asuma concluded.

This is for all the slow people out there. Neji's team: Gaara, Lee, Naruto. Ino's team: Tenten, Hinata, Sakura. And Sasuke's team: Shino, Shikamaru, Kiba and Choji.

"Now go and discuss your battle plans or something." Kakashi said and pulled his book out to read again.

**Neji's team**

"Alright!! Loser Sasuke's in another team!! Believe it!!" Naruto cheered. All the others smiled at the good news.

"Hey!! We need a team name!!" Naruto yelled enthusiastically.

"I suggest team youth!!! Yosh!!" The green kid with the bowl cut suggested.

"Team Neji or team fate." Neji said.

"Man, you really suck at making team names. Believe it!!" Naruto told Neji.

"What about team death?" Gaara said.

"…" Everyone backed away.

"Sounds ominous…" Neji commented, breaking the awkward silence.

"What about the **Anti Sasuke Society**!!

"I like it!!" the other three said.

"Then it's settled. The Anti Sasuke Society. A.S.S for short!!"

"Naruto, you do know that it spells 'ass' right!? Neji asked.

**Ino's team**

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO (gasp) OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO (huff huff) OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

We're separated from our crushes!!! Why!? Cruel world!? WHY!?" Sakura yelled.

"Why must you be so dramatic?" Tenten shook her head.

"We're separated from Sasuke-kun!!" Sakura and Ino whined.

"…Naruto-kun…" The disappointed Hinata whispered.

"Well enough of that lets get a team name!! Any suggestions? " Tenten cheered.

"We could do an acronym!" Sakura suggested.

"What's an acro-thingy?" Ino asked.

"Here's what I'm better than you at. Ino pig."

"Grr…"

"An acronym is when you make words using initial letters of other words." Sakura explained.

"Let's use our own names." Hinata said.

"Okay, T for Tenten, S for Sakura, I for Ino and H for Hinata." Sakura wrote the letters on a piece of paper.

"If you want actual words we could get, 'THIS', 'HITS' and… 'SHIT'." The pink head listed.

"Whoa, the last one is definitely out." went Ino.

"Let's just use something simple like Team Kunoichi." Hinata said.

"Yeah." The others sighed.

"I wonder if the other teams are done." Ino wondered.

**Sasuke's team**

"…" went Sasuke as he wipes the marker ink off his head with a towel.

"…" went Shino.

"zzzzzzz" Shikamaru slept.

"munch munch" you can guess who that is.

"Arf!!" Akamaru barked.

"Yeah, I know, it's boring here with them." Kiba answered.

"Who are you calling boring?" Sasuke threw the towel down and gave Kiba his death glare.

"N-nobody." Kiba was intimidated.

"You better be." Sasuke was still grumpy from the marker incident.

**Naruto and Gaara **

"Hey, the ink is gone." Naruto showed Gaara the voodoo doll.

"Well, this thing works both ways." Gaara explained.

"…?"

"You know that whatever happens to the doll happens to the person. But what ever happens to the person also happens to the doll. So if that person gets sliced into bits, so will the doll. Be careful when you use it. You don't want to lose it." Gaara warned.

"Hey guys, are you done yet?" the girls called out.

"Yep!" the a.s.s team said.

"Yeah…" Sasuke's team said.

"Then let's all play truth or dare!!" The girls cheered.

"Yeah, sure, whatever."

"Okay you're all in!! No chickening out now!! Whoever refuses to do the dare or the truth questions has to eat this BBQ octopus dunked in orange juice!! …and you have to drink it as well…" Sakura cackled while lightning zapped and thunder behind her and the Orochimaru theme song was played in the background as well as a freaky voice going nehehehehe...

"What. The. Heck. Was. That?" Naruto shivered.

"W-wasn't the sun shining brightly just a minute ago?" Hinata started, sounding worried (well, duh!!).

"GAAAAAAH!!! The horrible Orochimaru theme is playing!!! That means he's nearby!! He's stalking me again isn't he!? No way I'm gonna let that happen! Ever!!!" Sasuke grabbed a few planks of wood which happens to be there, so convenient, and nailed all the windows and doors shut… including the windshield.

"There. No more Orochimaru." Sasuke dusted his hands happily.

"WTF!? We can't see!! We're gonna crash and die!!" the pilot screamed as the warning alarm rang.

"Sasuke!! Now you've done it!! If we die, we're gonna come back as ghosts and haunt you forever!!" the Anti-Sasuke Society threatened. "Believe it!!" Added Naruto. The annoying alarm continued to ring.

"Shut up, you stupid alarm!!" Someone stabbed the alarm with a kunai.

"Okay. Calm down. We need a plan." Sasuke instructed.

"Hey!!! Who died and made you the leader!?" Naruto complained.

"Naruto! Now's not the time to be arguing!!" Sakura punched the fox boy.

"This is so troublesome…" Shikamaru moaned "Shino, get your bugs to keep the helicopter air-borne. And Sasuke!! You get rid of those boards!! No one's stalking you so get a grip!!"

Shino summoned his bugs and made them lift the helicopter up.

"Shino-sama is making us do his dirty work for him again." One of the bugs whined.

"Eh, it can't be helped, he's always using us like that." Another bug said

"Let's go on strike later."

"Sure thing!!"

Back to Sasuke, he was just making some hand seals. _Piece of cake. I can get rid of those in no time! _"Horse, tiger, Katon Goukakyuu no Jutsu! (Grand fireball)". In a few seconds time, all the wood has been burnt into charcoal. Sasuke, who was so proud of himself, over did it.

"EEEEEYAAAAAAAH!!! Sasuke-kun!! You burnt a hole right through the glass!! We'll all die from the lack of air!!" Ino panicked.

"Aw nuts. I wrecked the windshield." Sasuke said to himself.

"Remember what we told you." Neji huffed from the airlessness.

"Here's where I step in!!" A triumphant voice announced.

"Choji!! Are you sure it will work!? If you miss we really will die!!" Kiba warned. "Woof woof!!" Akamaru agreed.

"I'm sure as ever!!"

**To be continued…

* * *

**

That's it for now!! Sasuke and Neji is going to be OOC but Gaara is going to be really OOC here and will stay that way because I'm just no good at writing speeches for the ice blocks (you know who they **are**) at least I kept Shino the same…

Abut that part with the altitude sickness and all, I'm not sure if that does happen to helicopters or not. Let's just pretend it does.

Neji: You know, you **should** do some research first.

A/N: You're not the boss of me, why should I listen to you!?

Neji: Fine, you don't get to join the A.S.S then.

A/N: Hey, I gave you that team name so I'm already in it!!

Neji: Whatever…

Sasuke: Why the heck did you make me screw up infront of all those people!! I looked like a loser!! This is your entire fault!!

A/N: … (Presses button on CD player. Orochimaru theme is played)

Sasuke: NOOOOO!!! Not again!!! I'll get you for this!!! (Went to board up all windows and doors)

A/N: As long as I keep this playing, you'll get nowhere.

Orochimaru pops out from behind.

Orochimaru: Looking for this? (Holds out the CD with Orochimaru theme in it) (Evil aura surrounds him, Orochimaru theme plays louder than ever.)

A/N: GAAAAAH!!! (Runs away to help Sasuke build and Anti-Orochimaru fort)


	8. Genjutsu? Or for real?

Hey peoples! This is a special chapter which I have included my first preview of the next chapter!! At least you guys will have something to look forward to… as for reviews, nobody seems to care… T.T

My story seems to be a little short on voodooness but there will be more coming your way!!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. If I did, I'll make myself Hokage.

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Chapter 8: Genjutsu? Or for real?

"Choji!! Are you sure it will work!? If you miss we really will die!!" Kiba warned. "Woof woof!!" Akamaru agreed.

"I'm sure as ever!!"

Choji made some hand seals. "Baika no Jutsu!!" (Expansion Jutsu) his whole body became bigger. He bounced onto the control panel and plugged up the hole with his large body.

"Yeah!! Go Choji!!" Ino cheered.

"Hey! We can't see past you fatso!! You covered up most of the wind shield!!" The pilot complained.

"NOBODY CALLS ME FAT!!!!" Choji screamed. He tried to wriggle out of the glass, causing it to crack.

"No! Stop Choji, you're wrecking the glass!" Shikamaru warned.

"Die you ungrateful pilots!!" Choji continued to squirm.

"Hey cut it out Choji!" Naruto yelled. "Hey I know!" he said. Naruto grabbed the pilots and chucked them out the window.

"ARRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrgh" the pilots flew further and further away.

"There. Problem solved." Naruto dusted his hands in satisfaction. Choji calmed down.

"Naruto, you baka!!" Sakura punched him in the head.

"Now who's gonna fly this thing!" Ino punched as well.

"We're still gonna crash!" Tenten kicked.

"Wow… I never know that the girls could be so… scary…" Sasuke watched in the background as the girls bashed Naruto up.

"Troublesome too…" Shikamaru added.

"Warning. Warning. 15 seconds until impact. Increase altitude immediately." A computerized voice announced.

"Oh no!! Quick someone pull this thing back up!!" Kiba responded.

"12 seconds to impact."

"Don't worry; my bugs would lift us up!" Shino said.

"Not anymore! We're on strike." The bugs informed.

"NOOOOOO!!!" Shino yelled.

"7 seconds to impact."

"Byakugan!!" the two Hyuugas activated their Genkai Kekkai (advanced bloodline traits) and hopped into the pilot seat.

"4 seconds to impact"

The hyuugas pulled the levers hard.

"3 seconds."

They pulled even harder.

"2."

They used all their strength to pull the levers back.

"1."

SNAP.

It broke

"0."

"Kai! (Release!)" Kurenai undid the Genjutsu.

"PSYCHE!! You fell for it!! You should have seen yourselves. Hilarious!!" Kakashi pointed at the almost-scared-to-death genins.

They hurried to the windows and looked down. The helicopter was parked on the ground.

"We landed an hour ago." Asuma told the young shinobi.

"What?!" The Genins shouted altogether.

The pilots got up from the ground. "Trust me. It's not fun to be thrown out the window." One of them said as he wiped dirt out of his face.

"Haven't you guys noticed that we weren't there ever since you suggested to play truth or dare?" Kakashi asked.

"So… the lightning and the Orochimaru theme was all your doing!?" Sasuke growled.

"That's right!"

"And you made us think we're still up in the air and suffering from altitude sickness!?" Sakura questioned.

"Yep!"

"And the stupid alarm and the computerized voice were all fake!?" Neji shouted angrily.

"Well… no."

The pilots pressed a button on the control panel. The computerized voice spoke up. "System normal."

"My precious alarm!!! You stabbed it!! You have to pay for that you know!! And the windshield as well!!" The pilot pointed at the broken alarm.

"They'll pay for it." Kakashi pointed at the genins. By now they are twitching in anger.

"So. Why did you do that for?" Sasuke said through gritted teeth.

"No reason." Kakashi let out a forced laugh.

The genins got out their weapons and glared at the senseis. Kunais, shurikens, scrolls, Fumma shurikens (a large shuriken), demon windmill shurikens…

The teachers turned and ran. The mob of furious genins chased.

"Well, that just extended our break." The pilots sipped their coffee as they watched the ninjas from behind the broken windshield.

* * *

"Never do that again!!' Tenten shouted at the bashed-up teachers as she wrapped the rope around them for the hundredth time. They looked like a giant cocoon. 

"Your being so youthful!! I'm so proud!!" Gai commented as anime tears poured down his face.

"Woah…" the pilots looked out the window and sweatdropped. There are weapons scattered everywhere. Trees were burnt up and broken. There was sand all over the place. There were potholes in the ground as the result of missed rasengans.

"Well, nothing to do except to read!!" Kakashi did the Rope untying Jutsu thingy and poofed out of the bundle of ropes. He grabbed his book and flipped to his page.

"…Okay…"

"Well, time to go!" the pilots started up the helicopter again. The fixed aircraft flew up in the air and away from the mess.

* * *

"Well here we are!!" Gai lead the genins out of the helicopter and into the snow. A bone chilling wind blew, causing the young shinobi to shiver. 

"W-w-w-w-w-where are we?" Kiba's teeth clattered in the cold.

"Achoo! I don't like this place, Kakashi-sensei…" Naruto shivered. "I'm going back into the helicopter, y'know, for warmth."

"No can't do, we'll have to pay extra if you did that." Kakashi was being a cheapo as usual.

"But I'm cooooold." Naruto whined.

"Don't worry, I have some jackets and scarves in my backpack. There's enough for all of us!" The silver haired ninja unzipped his bag open and reached inside.

"You're a lifesaver Kakashi sensei!" Sakura complemented. At least she won't have to suffer from the cold anymore.

"… or at least I think I did…heh heh…" the copy ninja rubbed the back of his head sheepishly.

"WHAT!?" Team 7 shouted.

"We're gonna sue you for attempted murder once we get back to Konoha." Sasuke growled.

"Aw. C'mon, a little cold couldn't harm anyone. Plus, we're not that far away from the resort. It's got heating!!" Kakashi said the last part in a singing voice. On top of a steep snow covered hill, stood a huge holiday resort. Kinda like those people stay in during their skiing trips… or something.

"Did you say heating!?" All the frozen genins echoed and charged up the hill like a bunch of crazy maniacs.

Naruto shot upwards, shoving Choji out of the way. Nobody's gonna beat him to the heater. Higher up on the hill, was Neji and Sasuke, trying to knock each other out of the way. Sakura and Ino was doing the same, they both want to get there first for the same reason…

**Sakura/Ino's imagination**

"_Oh Sakura/Ino, it's so cold here, mind if you could share the heater with me?" Sasuke pleaded. _

"_Really?" Sakura/Ino answered in surprise._

"_I'll do anything you want…" _

**End if Sakura/Ino's fantasy.**

…of course, the real Sasuke would rather suffer alone than ruin his pride like that. Further down the hill, was Gaara, trying to levitating on his sand, then there was Lee, Hinata and Tenten just running normally followed closely by Kiba, Akamaru and Shino. Behind them was Naruto dashing blindly upwards, Choji getting up and using his Nikudan Sensha (meat tank, the rolling jutsu thingy). But where's Shikamaru?

"Man, these genins are stupid. How could they not notice the cable cart?" Kakashi shook his head in disappointment.

"You've got a point there, Kakashi, we were right next to it." Asuma added.

"Still, this is good training for them." Kurenai looked out of the cable cart's window.

"… troublesome comrades…" the pineapple headed lazy ninja sighed.

After an exhausting run up the steep hill, the genins reached the front doors - only to find it locked!

"What a rip off! I want a refund!!" Naruto shouted.

"Damn. We don't have the keys. Does anyone know how to pick locks?" Neji asked the group.

"Oh me I do!!" Tenten stepped forward "Just show me where it is and the lock is history!!" She pulled a lock picking thingy out of her bag and took a look at the lock.

"Oh crap. It's a fingerprint scan…"

"No problem! I'll just transform into Kakashi sensei!" Naruto shouted excitedly.

"That won't work, baka, have you ever seen his fingerprints?" Sakura punched him in the head.

"Sure! It's a simple swirl just like the on my back!" He pointed to the swirl on his orange top.

"Wrong!!" She punched him hard, causing the poor Naruto to fly off the hill. The rest of the teams watched him climb back up.

"Hey where are the senseis? And Shikamaru?" Choji pointed out.

"NOOOOOOOOO!!! We're gonna freeze to death!!" Ino Screamed.

"We're gonna starve to death!!" Choji joined in the screaming.

"What are you guys yelling about?" the senseis opened the door from inside.

"How… How did… what the? This isn't logical!!" the dumbstruck Neji spluttered.

"Ever heard of cable carts?" Shikamaru pointed at the carts. The genins except Shikamaru mentally slapped themselves… man they were stupid.

"Come on let's get in before we freeze." The genins piled in.

Outside, two figures wearing black cloaks with red clouds on it climbed out of some snowmen nearby. The one with long hair and red eyes nodded at the one with blue skin.

"Just as we figured. It's here." Itachi told his sidekick.

"Alright!! Three demons all together in one place. Think about the promotion we'll get once we get our hands on them!" Kisame cheered.

"I've never expected it to disguise itself like that. It's way harder to locate than the Kyuubi or the Shukaku." Itachi admitted. "This is going to be hard especially with the senseis around and I can't use my Mangekyou Sharingan too much, my vision already bad enough."

"Err… Itachi?"

"What?"

"You're talking to a snowman…"

**To be continued…**

* * *

Here's the first preview I've ever included. This is just some snippets of the next chappie. Here it is!! 

"What do you mean hand over all our ninja weapons?" Tenten protested, being the weapons mistress, she was affected by this greatly.

"… That means… my voodoo doll…will be taken away as well…" Naruto held his voodoo doll tightly in his hand.

"Now's our chance. Time to put the plan into action." Itachi commanded.

"Itachi…" Sasuke glared at his brother

"Sasuke…" Itachi nodded.

Sasuke charged with his chidori. "This time, it's different! This time… you're going to die!!"

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Review or I'll send the Akasuki after you. 


	9. Imposters?

Hi peoples! I'm back with the longest chapter yet!! Yay!! Go me!!! It's been a loooong time since I've uploaded another chapter. That's because I've got so much work to do and it takes a while for me to get some ideas for this chapter! Someone asked me why I always pick on Sasuke. That's because its fun!!

"Talking"

_Thoughts_

"**Author talking"**

A/N: Okay Naruto! Say it like you mean it!!

Naruto: All my friends, rivals and senseis are not the author's. Cardcaptors as well. Believe it!!

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Chapter 9: Imposters?

The senseis lead the genins into the lounge room. They genins sat down on the couches in a circle while the teachers stood in the middle.

"Okay people, we're going to stay here for a while. It's going to improve your teamwork, you'll learn how to cope with others even the people you don't like." Kakashi eyed Sasuke in an I'm-watching-you look. You're also going to work on your basic ninja skills. Now, hand over all your ninja weapons." Kakashi ordered. Everyone gasped in shock.

"What do you mean hand over all our ninja weapons?" Tenten protested, being the weapons mistress, she was affected by this greatly.

"Actually, hand over everything that could be used a weapon. And put it in a pile right here." The copy ninja pointed at a large cardboard box.

"WHAT!?"

"… That means… my voodoo doll…will be taken away as well…" Naruto held his voodoo doll tightly in his hand.

"…No… not Akamaru …" Kiba petted Akamaru on the head.

"M-my gourd…" Gaara was shaking. For a guy who uses sand for everything, he would be left powerless and defenseless.

"…" went shino. _My bugs!! Why cruel world? Why!?_

Everybody else just emptied out their bags and weapon pouches. But Tenten, Naruto, Kiba, Shino and Gaara didn't move.

"Come on, the five of you." Kurenai said. Slowly, they put their stuff in the box, Shino's bugs in a bug box and Akamaru in a pet carrier on the carpet next to the boxes. The senseis bent down, closed the lids and stood back up.

"Okay. We'll leave this here for a while. Everyone- " Kakashi was interrupted by the spandex man, the senior one.

"C'mon, your youth awaits!" he said giving the rest of the group the nice guy pose.

"Eeehhhh" was the response he gets in return.

"Youth, youth away!!" the two spandex people cheered as they left the room.

Meanwhile, Itachi and Kisame were outside peering through the window like some stalkers.

"Now's our chance. Time to put the plan into action." Itachi commanded.

"What plan?" Kisame protested.

**Flashback at the Akasuki hideout**

"Okay everyone. Listen up!" The leader clapped his hands. "That means you too Tobi! Put down that Playstation control!!"

"But, my characters are dying!! I'm about to finish off the final boss in one blow!!"

"Tobi! I don't care if you're going to clock the game or not, just listen!!" the leader dude shouted.

"Fine, Tobi is a good boy!" he said cheerfully and put the control down.

"Okay, does anybody know what this is?" the leader held up an empty ramen cup.

"The ramen cup that you picked out of Naruto's trash?" Kisame answered.

"Uhh, yeah, but that's not the point. Look at this." The leader showed them the lable

"Oh I see…" everyone said.

"I can't see, bring it closer." Itachi squinted at the ramen cup.

"Man, you really should go get some glasses." Kisame said. Itachi glared at him.

"At least stop using that Sharingan of yours so much. Here. Take a look at this." The leader brought the ramen cup closer.

"Ahh I get it…"

The lable on the inside said:

**CONGRATULATIONS, YOU WIN AN ULTRA RARE VOODOO DOLL!!**

"Yes, that's the demon we've been looking for. Its powers are similar to the ones of a voodoo doll. And of course, it would be most likely to disguise itself as one. So I've been searching the internet for any clues and I found out that this ramen company was giving it away as special prizes. But where to begin looking? Naruto's the most likely person to have it. He eats ramen everyday for every meal!! Really!!"

"Ohh, that explains why there are so empty ramen cups lying around."

"No, that's just Zetsu's new hobby."

"You mean collecting ramen cups?"

"Hey!! I don't collect ramen cups, I eat them!!" the plant man complained.

"You eat ramen cups, un?" Deidara asked. Everyone else laughed.

"No you moron, I eat the ramen! The noodles!!" Zetsu steamed.

"Why didn't you say so?" Itachi rubbed it in. Zetsu stomped away into his room and slammed the door behind him.

"So anyway- Hey! Tobi! Stop playing!!" went the leader. "Itachi, Kisame, I want you to go next door and spy on Naruto. And try to grab the voodoo while you're at it!"

"Yeah yeah…" Kisame said.

"… control freak…" Itachi muttered under his breath.

**End of flash back**

"Damn you leader, making us suffer in the cold while you get to sit next to the fire watching Cardcaptors." Kiasme stared at the hideout.

"We'll break in, snatch the voodoo doll and get out alright? Piece of cake." Itachi instructed.

"Who died and made you the boss?" the blue man protested.

**Back in the house**

They stood in the second floor corridor (did I mention that it's a two story house?) with a room to the left and two to the right. There's also a doorway joining to another corridor. "These are your rooms that you'll have to share with the rest of your team." Asuma announced. The senseis lead them into the nearest one to the right. "This one would be for Neji's team. Room 1." Inside was only **one** bunk bed.

"There are four of us and only two beds. What do want us to do? Share?" Neji complained.

"You could do that if you want, there's some sleeping bags in the closet. There's usually another bunk bed here but last time we used it, it collapsed on someone. So it needs to be fixed." Kakashi said from behind his book. "There was blood. Lots of blood…" he added.

Neji's team shuddered.

"Anyways, there's the closet, the heater and the bathroom. Alright, onto the next one." Kurenai finished it off quickly.

The group went back to the corridor and into the first room to the left.

"This is for the girls, Room 2. Two bunk beds, a dresser, a closet, a heater and a bathroom. Hmm… why is the window left open? Oh well, better close it before the room gets even colder than this." Kurenai went and shut the window.

**Downstairs**

"Damn, those jerks sealed the boxes! I can't get them open!" Kisame pulled and pulled but the lids wouldn't budge.

"Time for plan B." the weasel (Itachi for those who don't know) said.

"Plan B?" Kisame echoed.

"We snatch two of the genins, stuff them in the closet and tramsform as their replicas. We blend in with the crowd and when the time is right, we snatch the voodoo and get the hell out of this hell hole." Itachi explained. They nodded at each other and poofed away.

**Back up stairs**

They entered the second room to the right. There was a thump from the closet door closing but no one noticed.

"Room 3 for Sasuke's team. Two bunk beds, a closet and a bathroom. Now to the teachers room." Kakashi said.

There was a muffled scream and the sound of the closet door closing but that was covered up by Gai's loud cry of youth "Alright!!"

They shuffled slowly to second door to the left. Except for Gai and Lee, who marched and sang the ants marching song. They pushed it open to reveal a highly decorated corridor that would be rated five stars if it was a hotel.

"Okay. This is the corridor that leads to the teachers' rooms. Only to knock on our doors if you really needed to. I'm in Room 5, Gai in Room 6 unfortunately, Asuma in Room 7 and Kurenai in Room 8." Kakashi told the genins who were whining about the quality of their corridor compared to their senseis' ones. "Kitchen and dining room are downstairs. Not so hard to spot. You are dismissed for half an hour. Go to your cabins, do whatever. We don't care." Kakashi shooed them out of the luxurious corridor and back into the shabby one.

**Room 1 - Neji's Team**

"Alright!! Top bunk's mine!!" Naruto leaped up the bunk bed and started to unpack his secret stash of instant ramen and chocolate bars.

"I'm allergic to sleeping bags so I'm in bottom bunk." Neji sat down and hung up his dartboard with a photo of the main family on it.

"Sleeping bag it is…" Gaara said and pulled a one out of the closet.

"Yosh!! The sleeping bags of youth!" Lee took a lime green one and left it in the corner.

"You know what's so weird about this place? It's that..." Neji began.

**Room 2 - Ino's team**

"Hey! I'm leaving my hair straightener on the dresser okay?" Sakura asked as she laid a pink hair straightener down on the dressing table.

The two top bunks were decorated with pictures of Sasuke that were taken secretly by Sakura and Ino. On the bottom bunks, Hinata and Tenten were unpacking.

"This place creeps me out. Have you noticed that…" Tenten started.

**Room 3 - Sasuke's team**

The closet door was pushed open and Shikamaru and Choji emerged.

"Why were you guys in the closet? Together?" Kiba pointed out. Little did they know, it's actually Itachi and Kisame in disguise.

"Uh…" _Crap! I haven't thought that far ahead… _Itachi thought as he mentally slapped himself. _I hope that they wouldn't find the real Shikamaru and Choji…_

Kisame, who was impersonating Choji, was trying to think of an excuse. "U-u-u-h, w-we w-w-w-w-were just trying to get rid of a spider that's in the closet. Right, Shikamaru?"

"Yeah! I need to use my shadow controlling jutsu thingy to stop it from moving it around." said Itachi who was disguised as Shikamaru. The others raised their eyebrows. Suspicious. Reeeeeeeally suspicious.

"Any ways, have you guys noticed that…" Sasuke asked.

"It's that there is no Room 4?" Neji, Tenten and Sasuke said in the same time although they are in separate rooms and could not hear each other.

"See, we're in room 3 right, then Kakashi's room should be room 4 because it's the nearest room after ours. But instead, its room number 5. So where is room 4?" Sasuke told his team. So did Neji and Tenten.

"Come on you youthful genins, join us in the lounge room for a youthful meeting!" Gai shouted as he marched through the corridor.

"If I get $1 for every time Gai sensei says the word youth, I would be a billionaire." Tenten muttered as she stepped out of their rooms along with the others.

They were back at the lounge room, sitting on the couches around the senseis.

"This is your first task. We've hidden all of your weapons and tools in various places in the house so now you'll have to find it. It'll help you to improve your observation skills. The team with the most items wins while the other teams have to cook all three meals tomorrow." Kakashi pointed at the kitchen.

"We're having tacos tomorrow!" Gai punched the air.

"You have 15 minutes. GO!" Kakashi blew the whistle that randomly appeared.

**Neji's team**

"Hey!! Check out that pot of plant over there. It looks like your gourd." Naruto signaled the rest of the team to go closer to the plant.

"That's because it is!!" Gaara went over, pulled the poor plant out by the roots and threw it out the window. "They just stabbed a few bamboo sticks into my gourd and hope no one would notice."

"Come on, let's check the senseis corridor." Lee suggested.

**Ino's team**

"Wow, that's easy," Sakura said as she scooped a few kunais out of the utensils drawer.

"They could have put more effort into hiding these things." Ino fished a few shurikens out of the dishwasher.

"Um. I think in found something." Hinata told the team from inside the pantry. The others gathered around to see a whole box of weapons on the floor.

**Sasuke's team**

_This shouldn't be a problem. The voodoo should be very easy to find. Promotion, here I come! _Itachi thought as he checked the bookcase for the doll but his search was cut short as the whistle blew, signaling the end of the task.

**A few minutes later in the lounge room**

"The winner is Ino's team for retrieving most of the tools and weapons. As for the rest of you, meet us here at 6:00 in the morning for breakfast duty." Kurenai instructed.

"But first! We're having dinner to boost your youthful energy!" Gai shouted through a megaphone. The genins' ears blew up.

"What the hell's that for?!" they shouted and waving their fists around. All they got in return was Gai's good guy pose and a blinding flash from his shiny teeth.

"Argh! My eyes!" the genins covered their eyes.

After the young shinobi could see again, they finally went over to the dining room with a long table that reached from one side of the room to another. They all sat down and waitresses began to come out of the kitchen with bowls of liquid.

"What is this crap?" Sasuke prodded the floating object in his soup that is bobbing up and down with each poke. Up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down…

"Shut up and get on with the story already!" Sasuke shouted at the author / narrator.

"**Oh yeah? Make me!" **

"ARRGH!"

"**Hey Sasuke, has your chicken ass hair grown back yet?"**

Sasuke activated his sharingan and charged up his chidori. "GRR… DIE!!" he leapt towards the author.

"**The author never dies in their own story!! Bwhahahaha!! Go my minions!" **a few anbu poofed behind Sasuke and tied him up to the chair.

"F-CK you!" the Uchiha boy pointed the finger at the author, yes, you know which one…

"**Well, on with the story!"** the author poofed away.

Itachi shook his head and sighed. _Little brothers could be so annoying…_

"Kakashi sensei, what is this anyway?" Sakura asked nicely unlike someone…

"Shark fin soup!" he replied happily.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Kisame screamed._ They want me to commit cannibalism?!_ (Well, he is a shark… isn't he?)

"Huh? Choji, what's wrong? Its shark fin soup- one of your favorites! We ordered an extra large serving just for you!" Asuma asked.

"Oh, uh, nothing… I-I just bit my tongue, that's all… heh heh…" Kisame spluttered.

"Right…" Asuma nodded in suspicion.

"Itadakimasu!" they all said and began to eat. All except for Kisame and Sasuke, who couldn't reach his bowl.

Kisame took one look at the thing in his soup and felt sick instantly.

"Ulp… gotta go…" he ran upstairs to the bathroom with his hands over his mouth.

"I'll go make sure he's alright…" Itachi said, getting up.

After the two had left, Sasuke finally managed to untie himself and wolfed the whole thing down.

"Is it me or is Shikamaru and Choji acting weird?" Ino asked.

Sasuke stood up. "Well, I'm done, see ya later." He went upstairs. _Something's fishy here._

"But Sasuke, that's just the entrée!" Sakura called after him but Sasuke couldn't hear her.

Uchiha boy went into room 3 and saw something unbelievable! Well, to him anyways… Itachi was on his bunk bed reading through his magazines, and Kisame was next to the sink, prepared to throw up but has not done it yet. The Akatsuki duo thought that they could release their transformation jutsu because no one's around. But wham! Sasuke barged right in and found out.

"Itachi…" Sasuke glared at his brother

"Sasuke…" Itachi nodded.

Sasuke charged with his chidori. "This time, it's different! This time… you're going to die!!"

"You know, you should stop using that jutsu for everything, it's a waste of chakra." His older brother informed.

"Huh?" Sasuke stopped to reconsider his choice of techniques.

"Plus, you could only fire two of those so if you miss, you're toast. And you're most likely will" Itachi pointed out calmly.

"Shut up!" Sasuke leaped onto the bunk bed but Itachi kicked him off. Sasuke tried again but Itachi jumped down and grabbed his attacking arm. He closed his eyes and reopened it with the Mangekyou Sharingan. The younger Uchiha screamed as the memories of his family's massacre replayed in his mind and blacked out.

"Come on, we're going." Itachi transformed back Shikamaru while Kisame followed and turned into Choji. The two went back down stairs to finish the rest of the meal, leaving the unconscious Sasuke on the floor.

**To be continued…**

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Bonus section! **

**The story so far- Itachi version!** (I got this idea from reading this manga)

Itachi: Okay. Naruto got this voodoo doll as a free prize from a ramen cup. But the voodoo doll is actually a demon just like the Kyuubi and the Shukaku. Me and my sidekick Kisame were sent to steal the voodoo by the leader. That's what we do in the Akatsuki.

Kisame: What?! I'm your sidekick?!

Itachi: Yep:D

Kisame: aww… (Sulks in the corner)

Itachi: So anyways, it just so happens that Naruto is going on a training mission with the rest of the genins to this resort house right next to the Akatsuki hideout. So convenient. We pretended to be Choji and Shikamaru- two of Naruto's friends, and grab the doll while we have the chance. I'm pretending to be Shikamaru and Kisame's Choji. We stuffed the real Choji and Shikamaru in the closet. And yeah… that's pretty much it! See that review button over there? Now click it or else I'll unleash the power of my awesome Mangekyou Sharingan on you! Bwahahahaha!!

You heard him, review!


	10. Idiots

Hello everybody!!! Line up and be veeery happy!!! I'm finally back after what, 10 months of not uploading this story? Yeah I was too busy watching Death Note and Fullmetal Alchemist. But now that I've finished both animes, It's back to fanfic writing for me! Just so you know, someone reviewed and thought the Akatsuki owned the ski resort… which is a really good idea!!! I'm gonna use that in the story now!!! You know who you are, here, have a virtual cookie!! There's more Sasuke bashing here cuz it's so easy. I'll try to bash some other character since you guys are complaining. Anyhoo, Enjoy!! I actually made it to double digits!!! YAY!!!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto… yeah yeah… and all the other stuff mentioned in the story.

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**Chapter 10: Idiots…**

"Hey! Wakey wakey, sleeping beauty, we're gonna play truth or dare." Sakura shook Sasuke gently but Sasuke didn't wake up.

"Hey!! Wake up teme!!!" Naruto dumped a whole bucket of snow on the Uchiha.

"Wha? What? Itachi!! Where are you, bastard?!" Sasuke jumped up and charged up his chidori.

"Sasuke, Itachi is an S-rank criminal, why the heck do you think he's here?" said Gaara.

"Oh, I don't know, maybe he's disguised as one of us so he could kidnap me when I'm off guard and sell me on eBay!!" Sasuke shouted. Itachi and Kisame flinched.

"Or maybe he's- WHAT THE HELL?!" Sasuke's finger shot up his nose.

"Ha ha, Sasuke's picking his nose!" Naruto pointed at Sasuke with one hand and the other was holding the voodoo doll.

"Alright!!" Tenten cheered and took a few pictures with her camera. It's excellent blackmail material.

"Naruto, that's not funny." Sasuke pulled his finger out and glared at the voodoo doll.

"Whatever, nosepicker."

"Don't. Ever. Call. Me-" But he stopped as blood gushed out of his nose.

"Arrrrgh! Now you've done it!' Sasuke shouted, spraying blood everywhere.

"Eeew! Keep your AIDS to yourself!!" Naruto dodged the nose blood.

"I don't have AIDS dammit!!!" Sasuke steamed, even more blood spurted out of his nose. It's a fountain of blood!

"OMG Sasuke-kun, you're gonna bleed to death! Hold still!!" Sakura gave Sasuke some tissues.

"Sasuke, the nose picker

Had a very bloody nose…" Naruto sang to the Rudolf song.

"Naruto! Now's not the time!!" Sakura bashed Naruto on the head.

"Oww…" Naruto pocketed the voodoo.

"Hey, kis- I mean, Choji, did you see what Naruto was holding?" Itachi whispered.

"Yep, I think that's the one."

"When everyone's asleep, grab it and get the hell outta here."

"What are you guys whispering about?" Neji asked.

"Er… nothing…"

"Oh really? Byakugan!" (remember, you you sort of read minds with the Byakugan)

_Ohh… wow the famous Byakugan! I wonder which one's stronger? The Byakugan or the Sharingan? It's gotta be the Sharingan cause its uber cool!! I'm so gonna get Sasuke to verse this guy… _Itachi thought, keeping his mind away from their plans.

_Fishman, na na na na na na na na Fishman! Na na na na na na na na Fishman!! Fishman! Fishman! Fishman!!!!! _Kisame thought to the Batman tune.

"Idiots…' Neji deactivated his Byakugan and walked away.

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… This is like the shortest chapter ever…I'm going to upload more often now around once a week. Sorry, can't upload any often than that. Because some teacher gave us so much homework and its stupid algebra!!! So yeah… gomen… keep up the reviews!! C ya :D


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